


Deathbed

by Sonnenscheinchen1986



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Feelings, Not Beta Read, Set after Endgame, first fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 03:19:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17052086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonnenscheinchen1986/pseuds/Sonnenscheinchen1986
Summary: Janeway thinks about Chakotay.





	Deathbed

**Author's Note:**

> This little story was just in my head and didn‘t want to be quiet until I wrote it down.  
> I never postet a fic before and english is not my Native language so please be kind ;)

To feel you is insane.  
I'll turn off the world as soon as I look into your eyes.  
Why are you so perfect?  
The purest beauty, packed in only one person. Face, eyes, dimples, lips so soft, so demanding. You kiss me and I'm in another world. There is nothing here except us, the scent of your skin, your taste, just you.

These hands, big and protective. They just touch me everywhere and without ever having asked they know where they belong.  
This one moment in which I asked myself for the first time why it feels like more than it is allowed. Your fingers gently touching mine and inching my skin inch by inch and my heart is closing. Clench together because it tries to deny.  
My heart seems honest, but I am not.  
I am not strong, otherwise I would say it out loud. Say it loud, I would have to admit that something is wrong.

You say that you often think of me.  
You say I'm beautiful.  
How can I believe you?  
How could I tell you that I am constantly thinking of you? Often can not think of anything else? I'm always scared to do something wrong, to say something wrong ... and we've been in this situation before.  
And I ruined it.  
And all those years, my heart always wanted it, but everything was suddenly different.  
Why now? Why again?

It would never work.  
I need the drama.  
Selfish. I am egoistic. So stubborn.  
You will never know.

At the deathbed you regret the things you did not do.  
Maybe I will die fast, so I won’t have much time to regret.


End file.
